| ††Gautam† 的个人资料Winners Dont Do Differen...照片日志列表 |  工具  帮助 |
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3月16日 SCREW YOUR SCHOOL !!!!!!!!!wrecking ur school is easy.. just be a constant pain in the ass.. herez
a list of some thingz to do quite often 1) Draw , paint or write sloganz on the wallz .. or on in d loo... n be sure to abuse the assholic teacherz... cuz one d or the other.. the teacherz will read them ! ;).. 2) The attendence register.. or any important sheet of paper.. which u cud easily gets ur handz on... tear it.. damage it..change it.. or steal it .. !!.. it'l brainfuck the classteacher if itz d attendence register ! 3) drop empty boxz of ciggerates.. or those beer canz.. anywhere in school.. be sure no 1 sees you though.. and GOSH the principle will be like '' MY STUDENTZ ARE SMOKING AND DRINKING IN SCHOOL ?! '' hehe... 4) Write on a piece of paper.. something like.. '' teacher abc has a crush on teacher xyz '' photocopy this paper a 100 times.. and drop it here and there.. in ur school.. DAMN THIS IS SO GUD ! ... 5) Empty the dust bin on the floor of ur class totally.. ( do this everytime the school starts or ends ) 6) spread rumours.. real sick.. but things that people could believe .. be creative and be a good acter.. and this rumour thing will have amazing results ! 7) Buy a good whistle ! yes a whistle.. and dont do this in every period.. but sometimes just whistle in the class.. and go back to ur work.. u'l need to have some unity and friends to do this though.. BUT ITS REAL FUN.. like in my school teacherz now days discuss.. that someone whistlz in that class ;) 8) Throw rotten food on the teacherz chair n shit.. kinda pisses d teachr off.. itz fun... 1 golden rule matez !.. never ever get caught.. that will piss off the school even more.... being rebellious doesnt mean being a geek.. and theres always a difference between gutz n stupidity !... i'l be adding more shit hea.. every month .. so check back... May satan watch over you in ur crimez! ;) lol..fuckoff now.. - gautam & manan 6月5日 Interesting facts about Bill Gates1. Bill Gates earns US$250 every SECOND, that's about US$20 Million a DAY and US$7.8 Billion a YEAR! 2. If he drops a thousand dollar, he won't even bother to pick it up bcoz the 4 seconds he picks it,he would've already earned it back. 3. The US national debt is about 5.62 trillion, if Bill Gates were to pay the debt by himself he will finish it in less then 10 years. 4. He can donate US$15 to everyone on earth but still be left with US$5 Million for his pocket money. 5. Michael Jordan is the highest paid athlete in US. If he doesn't drink and eat, and keeps up his annual income i.e. US$30 Million, he'll have to wait for 277 years to become as rich as Bill Gates is now. 6. If Bill Gates was a country, he would be the 37th richest country on earth. 7. If you change all of Bill Gate's money to US$1 notes, you can make a road from earth to moon, 14 times back and forth. But you have to make that road non-stop for 1,400 years, and use a total of 713 BOEING 747 planes to transport all the money. 8. Bill Gates is 40 this year. If we assume that he will live for another 35 years, he has to spend US$6.78 Million per day to finish all his money before he can go to heaven. Last but not the least: If Microsoft Windows' users can claim US$1 for every time their computers hang because of Microsoft Windows, Bill Gates will be bankrupt in 3 years! 5月4日 Which is worse??WhiCH iS WorSE ??
hey ppl, try chosin da worst situation out of dem. u gota leava comment as ur answers asap.......... do attempt it!!!! the situations r as follows: 1. Having a guy tell you he loves you and not mean it? or Having a guy tell you he loves you and then take it back? 2. Falling on your ass and then farting in front of the guy/girl you like? or Sitting on the guy/girl you like's lap and peeing your pants? 3. being immortal and living with cancer aids and every disease known to man or being immortal and having all your limbs amputated 4. Getting your tounge stuck on a pole or Getting your head stuck in a bucket 5. Your mom dirty dancing with your dad or your girlfriend/boyfriend dirty dancing w/ your bestfriend 6. having chapped lips for the rest of your life, and never being able to use chapstick or not being able to brush your teeth for the rest of your life 7. Accidentally biting another person's tongue in a kiss? or Having your braces get stuck with his/her? 8. Farting while making out? or Burping while making out? 9. Crapping in a dirty, filthy, smelly bathroom? or Crapping in a bathroom that has an echo and everybody can hear you? 10. Attending one class period completely in the nude? or Attending the whole day to school in your underwear? Important!I was talking with a lawyer friend of mine. We were discussing the law and women`s rights. She told me about this incident in Pune - a young girl was raped by a man posing as a plain clothes officer; he asked her to come to the police station when she and her male friend didn't have a driver`s license to show. He sent the boy off to get his license and asked the girl to accompany him to the police station. Took her instead to an isolated area where the horrendous crime was committed. Infact, the law clearly states that between --6 pm and 6am--, a woman has the right to "REFUSE" to go to the Police Station, even if an arrest warrant has been issued against her. It is a procedural issue that a woman can be arrested between 6pm and 6 am, ONLY if she is arrested by a woman officer and taken to an ALL WOMEN police station. And if she is arrested by a male officer, it has to be proven that a woman officer was on duty at the time of arrest. It is good for us to know our rights. To what extent it comes of use remains to be seen in any situation. But as they say, knowledge is power. Share this knowledge with everyone you know, you never know to whom it may turn out to be a power... thnx take care yOu gOt bRaiNz??Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence. Take the following test and determine if you are losing it or are still "with it." OK, relax, clear your mind and.... Begin. Don't Cheat
1. What do you put in a toaster?
Answer: "bread." If you said "toast," then give up now and go do something else.
Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, "bread," go to Question 2.
2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk." What do cows drink?
Answer: Cows drink water. If you said "milk," please do not attempt the next question. Your brain is obviously over stressed and may even overheat. It may be that you need to content yourself with reading something more appropriate, such as Children's World."
If you said "water," proceed to Question 3. 3. If a red house is made from red bricks, and a blue house is made from blue bricks, and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?
Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said, "green bricks," what the devil are you still doing reading these questions?????
If you said "glass," then go on to Question 4. 4. Twenty years ago, a plane was flying at 20,000 feet over Germany. If you recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany. Anyway, during the flight, TWO of the engines failed. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing,
decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the third engine fails before he has time to attempt an emergency landing, and the plane crashes smack in the middle of "no man's land" between East Germany and West Germany . Where would you bury the survivors? . . . in East Germany or West Germany or in "no man's land"? Answer: You don't, Of course, bury survivors. If you said ANYTHING else, you are a real .........!!! and you must NEVER try to rescue anyone from a plane crash. Your efforts would not be appreciated.
If you said, "Don't bury the survivors," proceed to the next question. 5. If the hour hand on a clock moves 1/60 of a degree every minute how many degrees will the hour hand move in one hour?
Answer: One degree. If you said, "360 degrees" or anything other than "one degree," you are to be congratulated on getting this far, but you are obviously out of your league. Turn in your pencil, and exit the room.
Everyone else proceed to the final question. 6. Without using a calculator -- You are driving a
bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales. In London , 17 people get on the bus. In Reading, six people get off the bus, and nine people get on. In Swin don, two people get off and four get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In Swansea, three people get off and five people get on. In Carmathen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven.
What was the name of the bus driver?
Answer: Oh, for crying out loud! Don't you remember? It was YOU!! Concept of Selling!Dad : I want you to marry a girl of my choice
Son : I want to choose my own bride. Dad : But the girl is Ambani's daughter. Son : Well, in that case......yes. Next, the dad approaches Mukesh Ambani Dad : I have a husband for your daughter. Ambani : But my daughter is too young to marry. Dad : But this young man is a vice- President of the World Bank. Ambani : Ah, in that case.....yes. Finally, the dad goes to see the president of the World Bank. Dad : I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president. President : But I already have more vice-presidents than I need. Dad : But this young man is Ambani's son-in-law. President : Ah, in that case.......yes. Now, this is concept selling!! George Bush goes to a primary school to give a speech.After his talk he offers question time.One little boy puts up his hand and George asks him what his name is. "Bob". "And what is your question, Bob?" "I have 3 questions. First, Why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN? Second, Why are you President when Kerry got more votes? And third, What happened to Osama Bin Laden?" Just then the bell rings for recess. George Bush informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess. When they resume George says, "OK, where were we? Oh that's right --- question time. Who has a question?" A different little boy puts up his hand . George points him out and asks him what his name is? "Steve" "And what is your question, Steve?" "I have 5 questions. First, Why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN? Second, Why are you President when Kerry got more votes? Third, What happened to Osama Bin Laden? Fourth, Why did the recess bell go 20 minutes early?! And fifth, Where is "Bob" ??!!!! 3月30日 The Guys` Rule!The Guys' Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear "the rules" from the female side . Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE! 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem See a doctor. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one . 1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 1 Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we. 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to -- expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine ... Really . 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks. 1. You have enough clothes. 1. You have too many shoes. 1. I am in shape. Round is a shape. 1. T hank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. Law1) Lorenz's Law of Mechanical Repair After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch. 2) Anthony's Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. 3) Kovac's Conundrum: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged tone. 4) Cannon's Karmic Law: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire. 5) O'brien's Variation Law: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now. 6) Bell's Theorem: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings. 7) Ruby's Principle Of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with. 8) Willoughby's Law: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will. 9) Zadra's Law Of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach. 10) Breda 's Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last. 11) Owen's Law: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold. 3月22日 The ATROn a flight to Singapore, a gentleman had made several attempts to get into the men's restroom, but it had always been occupied. The flight attendant noticed his predicament. Sir, she said "You may use the ladies room if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on the wall." He did what he needed to, and as he sat there he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch. Each button was identified by letters: WW, WA, PP, and a red one labeled ATR. Who would know if he touched them? He couldn't resist. He pushed WW. Warm water was sprayed gently upon his bottom. What a nice feeling, he thought. Men's restrooms don't have nice things like this. Anticipating greater pleasure, he pushed the WA button. Warm air replaced the warm water, gently drying his underside. When this stopped, he pushed the PP button. A large powder puff caressed his bottom adding a fragile scent of spring flowers to this unbelievable pleasure. The ladies restroom was more than a restroom, it is tender loving pleasure. When the powder puff completed its pleasure, he couldn't wait to push the ATR button which he knew would be supreme ecstasy. Next thing he knew he was in a hospital as he opened his eyes. A nurse was staring down at him with a smile on her face. "What happened?" he exclaimed. "You pushed one too many buttons," replied the nurse. "The last button marked ATR was an AutomaticTampon Remover. Your balls are in the bucket under the bed" 2月26日 Russians and englishmen!!A Russian woman married an English gentleman and they lived happily ever after in London. However, the poor lady was not very proficient in English, but did manage to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries. One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy chicken legs. She didn't know how to put forward her request, and in desperation, clucked like a chicken and lifted up her skirt to show her thighs. The butcher got the message, and gave her the chicken legs. The next day, she needed to get chicken breasts. Again, she didn't know how to say it, and so she clucked like a chicken and unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her breasts! The butcher understood again, and gave her some chicken breasts. The 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages. Unable to find a way to communicate this, she brought her husband to the store... (Please scroll down) > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > What were you thinking? Hellooooooo, her husband speaks English! Now get back to work...! Your TitlePick the month you were born:
January- I murdered
February- I slapped
March- I had sex with
April- I looked at
May- I masturbated with
June- I slept with
July- I laughed at
August- I stabbed
September- I shot
October- I made love to
November- I wrestled
December- I crapped
Now pick the day of your birth
1. A prostitute
2. Your boyfriend/girlfriend
3. A Woman with HIV
4.A sexy Girl
5. Santa Clause
6. A playboy bunny
7. A married mom
8. My stuffed bunny
9. Your mom
10. The Easter Bunny
11. A football player
12. The devil
13. An asian
14. My teacher
15. The Rock
16. A DVD player
17. A porn Star
18. The phone
19. My computer
20. Your house
21. The tape measurer
22. The Lamp
23. The pope
24. Governor Swartenegar
25. Mr. Incredible
26. A transvestite
27. A pencil sharpener
28. Your hot sister
29. George Bush
30. A tape recorder
31. The printer
Now the THIRD letter of your LAST name
A- Because I like chocolate
B- Because I was bored
C- Because my pants were on too tight
D- Because Fruit cakes fly
E- Because my heart is two sizes too small
F- Because I didnt get any presents for Christmas
G- Because I like eggs
H- Because the world will end tomorrow
I- Because I slit my wrists
J- Because I dont have a bf/gf
K- Because I like football
L- Because I was high
M- Because I was drunk
N- Because my mom told me to
O- Because I am a homosexual
P- Because Im lonely
Q- Because my parents fight a lot
R- Because Im horny
S- Because I want to commit suicide
T- Because I hate school
U- Because I need to masturbate
V- Because I love slumber parties
W- Because it calms me
X- Because I like brownies
Y- Because I like to spoon
Z- Because I was drunk
Leave a comment with what you got as the title!!! 1月14日 How Much??Your Honor, I want to bring to your attention how unfair it is for my
Client to be accused of theft. He arrived in New York City a week ago and Barely knows his way around. What's more, he only speaks a few words of English." The Judge looked at the defendant and asked, "How much English can you Speak?" The defendant looked up and said, "Give me your wallet!" ************************************** The teacher asked one of her young students if he knew his numbers.
"Yes," he said. "I do. My father taught me." "Good. What comes after three." "Four," answers the boy. "What comes after six?" "Seven." "Very good," says the teacher. "Your dad did a good job. What comes After ten?" "A jack," says the little boy. **************************************
A farmer rears twenty-five young hens and one old cock. As he feels that The old cock could no longer handle his job efficiently, the farmer bought one Young cock from the market. Old cock to Young cock : "Welcome to join me, we will work together towards Productivity. Young cock : What ya mean? As far as I know, you are old and should be Retired. Old cock : Young boy, there are twenty-five hens here, can't I help you With some? Young cock : No! Not even one, all of them will be mine. Old cock : In this case, I shall challenge you to a competition and if I Win you shall allow me to have one hen and if I loose you will have all. Young cock : O.K. What kind of competition? Old cock : 50 meter run. >From here to that t! Ree. But due to my age, I hope You allow me to start off the first 10 meters. Young cock : No problem ! We will compete tomorrow morning. Confidently, the following morning, the Young cock allows the Old cock to Start off and when the Old cock crosses the 10 meters mark the Young cock Chases him with all his might. Soon enough, he was behind the Old cock back in a matter of seconds. Suddenly, Bang! ..... Before he could overtake the old cock, he was shot Dead by the farmer, who cursed, "What the hell ! This is the fifth GAY Chicken I've bought this week !" 1月1日 HaPpY nEw YeAr..!!!!      .A NEW YEAR
By Kay Hammond
As we set out to greet a New Year
we remember all the events of the past year
We celebrate the dawn of the New Year
with laughter, joy and cheer
Old friends are with us to bring in the New Year
as the clock strikes midnight on the mantle
With glasses raised to make a toast
we join our voices to sing Auld Lang Syne
The New Year will bring new hope
that old friends will be with us for years to come
12月4日 VOTE FOR INDIA!!  Ponds`s Femina Miss India World Sindura Gadde
 is in Sanya, China for the Miss World pagent. And your vote can help put her, and India on top of the World.ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS sms MW105 to 7827 now. OR, cast your cote for SINDHURA at www.missworld.tv you can vote as many times as you want, more the merrier.
Each contestant has been allocated a number for worldwide SMS voting. At the close of voting, points will be awarded according to a voting-points structure. An effective formula will ensure that votes from all countries equate, regardless of the size of population, voting medium or overall number of votes.
Voting is open until 12 hours before the start of the two hour live televised final from SANYA on DECEMBER 10. Your Vote will make a difference, so please put your best finger forward! 11月25日 Your Answer?WHAT WOULD BE UR ANSWER TO THIS?
You have this friend since elementary and after
college; then both of
you lost contact with each other. But she is someone
really special to you, and you are someone very
special to her too.
Five years later you receive a phone call from her.
"Hi, I'll visit you"
she says. "Hi, Leah, when?" you ask her. "Just wait
for me" she replies. It seems weird but you prepare
for her coming anyway.
One rainy night you hear a knock on the door. And
you're surprised to see that it's your friend Leah.
Losing touch for five years is so long and
you start talking about everything. The both of you
even go to your room upstairs. Suddenly there is a
power outage, but the two of you continue talking by
candle-light.
Then the phone rings. "I'll just get the phone
downstairs," you say. "No,
don't get it, we're in the middle of our talk," she
says. "It might be
important," you say. "Okay if you say so, but promise
me you'll be back," she says. You promise her a
million times that you'll be back.
Then you run downstairs to answer the phone. "Hello,"
you say. "Hello," says the person on the line.
"Yeah?" you say, wondering who it is. "I'm calling on
behalf of Leah's family. They had an accident and her
parents are in the hospital right now," he says. "How
are they?" you ask. He continues, "They are injured
but stable. But I'm sorry to say that Leah died. We
found your name and phone number in Leah's purse..."
his voice trails off as you look up at the long
stairs.
WOULD YOU GO BACK AS YOU HAVE PROMISED?
Love............ is not only made for lovers.......
Its also for friends who luv each other.......
Sometimes better than lovers.
Tell me ur answer if u can  11月15日 The Greatest Cricket sledges of all-time.Cricket is a gentleman's game, but Sledging (from the wiki with examples) makes you think otherwise. Here Are A Few Examples
. . 1. Rod Marsh & Ian Botham: When Botham took guard in an Ashes match, Marsh welcomed him to the wicket with the immortal words: "So how's your wife & my kids?" 3. Glenn McGrath (bowling to portly Zimbabwean chicken farmer Eddo Brandes): "Hey Eddo, why are you so F**ing Fat?" Eddo Brandes:"Because everytime I F*** your mother, she throws me a biscuit" 11月9日 People You Should Never Go Around With !
YOUR BEST FRIENDS'S SISTER
10月31日 Smile Please!
Once in a kintergarden, a teacher asks all students to write an essay on
10月27日 Your Age By Chocolate Maths!It takes less than a minute....... Work this out as you read.. Be sure you don't read the bottom until you've worked it out! This is not one of those waste of time things, it's fun. 1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to have chocolate. (more than once but less than 10) 2. Multiply this number by 2 (Just to be bold) 3. Add 5. (for Sunday) 4.. Multiply it by 50 I'll wait while you get the calculator............ ... 5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1755.... > > If you haven't, add 1754 ...... 6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born. You should have a three digit number . The first digit of this was your original number (i.e., how many times you want to have chocolate each week). The next two numbers are ........ YOUR AGE! (Oh YES, it is!!!!!) THIS IS THE ONLY YEAR (2005) IT WILL EVER WORK, SO SPREAD IT AROUND WHILE IT LASTS. |
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